You are viewing savageparrot

Previous Entry | Next Entry




So in the spirit of scientific betterment I thought this was an issue that needed a thorough weighing through the time honoured format of a table of pros and cons.

The Pro's

1. He/she will have a Higher libido... presumably. Testosterone does tend to have that effect.

2. He/she will be easy to buy shoes for. You can try them on yourself to make sure that they fit as you will likely have the same size feet.

3. At the risk of sterotyping he/she will probably dress sluttier, but in a good way. They will dress with a mans eye for what looks good.

4. There's a sporting chance that he/she might enjoy films in which there are more explosions than plot twists.

5. While out on the road he/she can pee behind a bush instead of forcing you to stop at some overpriced musak playing hell hole where you will be forced to eat disappointing muffins and drink inexplicably stale tea.

6. He/she may (and I appreciate this may be unrealistic) spend less than a a full half hour in the bathroom first thing in the morning while you are waiting to use the loo.

7. He/she will be able to reach the top of the cupboard or change the lightbulb without assistance owing to their natural height advantage and predilection for high heels.

8. He/she will almost certainly already know the rules to sports meaning one less argument because you used a patronizing tone to explain how the offside trap works.

9. If attacked by zombies he/she will easily be able to keep up as you run in a girly fashion screaming for your life. If backed into a corner they would also presumably be handier with a cricket bat. (*The true coward will also realise that their larger bodies would take longer to eat thereby buying you more time from the old 'take her just don't eat me' gambit)

10. Money saved on birth control products could be spent on buying dutch courage to facilitate bedroom activities.


The Cons:

1. The penis

2. The smell of hair removal creams. Chemically burned hair is not a good aroma.

3. The fact that if attacked by zombies you would be unable to repopulate the planet. It might not seem important now but trust me when you are having your face chewed off by a zombie you'll wish you hadn't taken the whole species down with you.

4. Awkward conversations with the parental unit, mostly about when the grandkids will be arriving. Lord bless her your mum is just not that bright.

5. He/she may be taller than you, and would therefore have the perfect view to witness the birth of the bald patch.

6. Outsize FMBs are probably quite expensive.

7. He/she may be a follower of scripture, specifically the part in which 'it is better to give than to receive'...

8. The friday night 'love in' now reminds you of prison.

9. He/she looks better in your clothes than you do.

10. He/she may still want to watch 'Sex in the City' and can actually physically overpower you to ensure that they get their way.



I'd say net win for the cons based primarily on point one (you know what I'm saying). But if you have the commitment to really knuckle under and get your drink on enough that that doesn't bother you then it could be a remarkably stress free relationship...

Comments

( 6 comments — Leave a comment )
liabiliteaze
Jan. 12th, 2010 12:55 pm (UTC)
And will hopefully solve the 'toilet seat' debate.
savageparrot
Jan. 12th, 2010 12:59 pm (UTC)
Noooo that totally should have been one of the pros. Damn you for pointing out that I could have simply plagerised one of my old posts and made it look like new material.

I may never forgive myself...
longingtobecome
Jan. 12th, 2010 03:03 pm (UTC)
This is HILARIOUS!
savageparrot
Jan. 12th, 2010 03:32 pm (UTC)
Why thank you.

I decided my journal was in danger of getting all politicized and whatnot so decided to get back to basics and focus on the really important questions in life.
feyrieprincess
Jan. 12th, 2010 04:59 pm (UTC)
lol I've actually dated one
feyrieprincess
Jan. 12th, 2010 05:02 pm (UTC)
and have a lot of m to f friends, many of whom are on my LJ
With the exception of one, all the transvestites I know are lovely people
( 6 comments — Leave a comment )